Would you like a bread roll?

I presented the basket of bread to the customer, (As that is the highlight of my Friday night.) and I asked the question,

"Would you like a bread roll?"

To which he replied,

"Yes."

Either too stupid or perhaps blind, and unable to notice that there was a selection of bread on offer.

"Which one sir?" I inquired.

"A seeded one." He requested.

"They're all seeded." I informed him.

"Surprise me." He replied.


I gave him an empty box of smints and a lid from a biro.

That took him by surprise.

Other highlights from my Friday night shift included, a small child who needed his nappy changed on no less that three occasions. On the third code brown, his parents apparently ran out of nappy's. At which point the entire restaurant was engulfed in a stench I can politely describe as VILE.

The child's mother ordered a steak, very well done, with surf n turf, (Meaning it comes with king prawns in garlic butter) two minutes after presenting the dish to the mother, she decided she was dairy free.
She has an allergy to dairy, yet neglected to inform her server of this. Furthermore, she ordered something, which unless you are a MORON, you must know comes with dairy, or least would have enough common fucking sense to mention a food allergy to someone who serves you fucking food!!

Her allergy must not have been particularly strong, as for her starter she had a caesar salad, which has caesar dressing, which contains dairy.