Day 86

I thought the clouds were pretty cool!

Morning: d-3 a-3

I didn't feel especially great physically but emotionally was really quite alright. I got up had a shower and did some things, feeling quite productive and motivated.

It was only really for an hour before I went to Lizzie's that things started to be less good.

Afternoon: d-1 a-5

Once at Lizzie's, other than still not feeling very well, I had a really nice time with minimal lowness and anxiety.

Just as I was getting ready to go, the anxiety came rushing in. I was petrified by the fact I had been so OK, maybe happy even. Argh!

I walked to Helen's, still feeling pretty anxious and also rather miserable (probably prompted by walking past where I used to have CBT).

Evening: d-4 a-6

The evening was really weird. I think I felt overwhelmed by the television being on and her housemate being there, making it hard to talk about anything I wanted to. Eating some food helped but I felt weird all evening.

I got myself so stressed walking home. Maybe I'm okay? Maybe I should be working? Maybe I just need to be busy and then I'd be fine? Argh!