Woolter Smith

Didn't quite know what to make of this rather unnerving individual when he smilingly appeared as I opened Mrs Delphwynd's car boot this morning. After my initial fear that she may be conducting an affair with the cheeky chappie, my next reaction was one of... "what in the hell is it?" and "why is it in my wife's car boot?"

What would possess someone to spend what surely must have been hours and hours of knitting to produce such a thing? I'm not even sure the person who knitted it is a fan of the team or not; if they ARE a fan, why produce a knitted clown representing one? If they're NOT a fan, surely there's less time-consuming, child-scaring, sheep-worrying ways of doing this?

After the Old Firm's knock-back from the English FA, and the fact that they'll have to crawl back and get on with playing teams they patently don't consider equals, and with Rangers financial woes, maybe they'll try sneaking in these guys on to the team (or has this already started, and we've just knit noticed?). Or could it be he's the replacement for Walter and he's been purled in to give the team the needle and a woolly good talking to.

There's probably unlimited comedy potential in this item, but when Mrs Delphwynd said this was up for auction as a fund-raising prize at her work, and people were offering upwards of £25 to own it, I was just downright perplexed.

Maybe it's me. Maybe there is a market out there for two and a half feet knitted clowns in the colours of your favourite football team.

Friday. Weekend. Have a nice one :-)