The Great Escape

Now firstly I would say, don't let this picture fool you, you're all probably thinking it's an auxilliary nurse with a tray of tea and coffee, well let me tell you this you're wrong, see that white well it's not what you think it is, our perception is that it was a secret powder designed to weaken us, mostly because after we'd had said cup of tea we'd fall asleep.

Right , after the two previous failed missions We decided that being the youngest it was my turn to make a break for it. I watched the door and timed the staff, I noticed that there was a shift changeover in mid afternoon.

I tried to bribe a porter,er I mean guard to get me to the door, I knew I'd be on my own from there, I had managed to see the outside on the way for a CT scan, sorry electrotorture, I could smell the fresh air and freedom.

I thought my chances of escape had been blown when I was told to have a shower, we all know what this means, I almost pee'd myself when I was locked in the darkness in the room, I realised then that I hadn't switched the light on, I eyed the shower head with suspicion, I tentatively turn on the tap and then, well, hot water so I had a shower.

I could hear muffled voices outside, I could make out some words but not all of them, one I did hear was we need his bed. Oh bugger, this is it it's now or never.

Once finished and back in the holding area, they called it a ward I could see the Commandant affectionately known as sister, do you notice that's almost like sinister, do you see what I mean about this place ?, sign a pice of paper that was quite clearly a death warrant.

I called my friend, Si, he was once the best shot in our organisation but years of drinking wines and working his way along the bar of real ales in the local pub means that he just does archery as a hobby now, sorry I digress.

Anyway Si was on his way, I then chatted up one of the guards, they called her a ward clerk and she took my bag as I hobbled on my crutches, once at the front door, I could see Si approaching fast. I managed to get into the vehicle, it's blacked out windows hiding my prescence, I could smell freedom. He sped off using the rear exit, clever stuff, he then drove the long way towards Newcastle, mostly because he had no change for the Tyne Tunnel ! I'd been hiding out at my Mam's house but I'm now safely home, I still bear the tattoo they gave me, an arrow, they told me it was to remind the surgeon which hip I'd damage but I know it was a reminder for the head inquisitor on where my weak spot was.

Whilst I am happy to be out, I can't help but think about my comrades, agent J, the South Shields Robert Redford and Gateshead's Brian Wilson ( not the Beach Boy), still I left Bob my Jaffa cakes and two packets of crisps, John and Brian a bar of chocolate each and some bum wipes, I also left behind an unopened 3 litre bottle of coke, this was a mistake !!

I'll never forget these lads heros the lot of them..

Thanks for taking time to read about my story.


Obviously none of its true, apart from the bit at the end involving the chocolate and the crisps, Simon did come to collect me but only after I was discharged, I now have roughly three months of recovery whist my shattered hip socket mends, all of this in the cause of getting a blip. I hope you've enjoyed reading this as much as I have thinking it up and writing it.