Olympic Disqualification!

The atmosphere at the Olympic stadium was intense today, as the crowds eagerly awaited the finalists of the interspecies tug of war.

Erik the moth, representing the favorites from Eastern Europe. He refused to fill in his place of birth on the entrance form, but was still permitted to compete because Rasputin Entwistlebaum the Arachnid, representing Lithuania, couldn’t spell his own name.

The stadium was packed to the rafters. Some spectators even managed to gain access to the roof, enjoying a grandstand view of the proceedings. There was royalty and celebrities in attendance. Mick Jagger was enjoying himself, heckling the crowds of formicidae at the top of his voice, but the ants were too busy singing to the Mexican wave to notice the derision.

It was all too much for the caterpillars and one of them fell asleep half way through the anthems.

Finally, after four years of anticipation, the moment had arrived. The referee supervised the legal grip, as the two competitors jostled for an advantage. The chief adjudicator satisfied, gave the nod from his high perch, the whistle blew and we were underway.

Two seconds into the tournament, all hell broke loose. Erik tripped on his fancy gown and twisted three ankles. Rasputin, seized his opportunity, bit into the neck of the now defenceless moth, spilling haemoglobin all over the track. The referee blew his whistle in vain, he tried to intercede but Eriks head fell off and the arachnid was once again disqualified for unsportsmanlike behaviour.

This is the third year running that the gold medal has had to be awarded posthumously. The spiders showed no remorse and proceeded to run a lap of dishonour. I suspect drastic rule changes before the next Olympic tug of war.

This is Dave the Dung Beetle, signing off until next time. Have a nice Day.

Dave