The true meaning of Valentine's Day...

It's not about booking a "special" for two at the Harvester. Or stopping at the Tesco Express and picking up a cheap bunch of assorted.

Take this little fellow, for instance... At the end of January, he starts his trek from the Sargasso Sea and, if he's lucky enough to avoid all the predators - both human and marine - he arrives at the mouth of his home river and then has to battle his way hundreds of miles upstream. In some places he will have to leap his way past rocks and other obstructions. Many of his companions will fall by the wayside, exhausted,

And, then, finally, arriving back at the site of his own birth, having lost over a third of his body weight, he meets his immorata. And does he lustfully couple with her? No, he just snuggles up against her back and nestles there.

That, my box-of-Ferrero-Rocher-bearing swain, is romance...