Railway House

Along the walkway on my way to my session, there lies the old railway station that has been converted into a house. I never knew it existed until a few months ago. I rather like it.
It’s not been a great day. Woke up at 6am and instantly thought of Grandma. How was she? How was her night and replayed yesterday in my head. I can still see her sitting in the dining room with others. I thought about going along to see her (she now lives in the same street as me, but at the other end!) but I feared that I wouldn’t cope and I want to be happy when I see her so she feels ok about being there. She can’t see our sadness.

We are all going along to hers tomorrow then out for lunch so I’ll see her then.

Along to my session, helpful but emotional.

Came home to a letter about the CPN and a date for 12 March; I was told I would be seen in 2 weeks. So disappointed and feeling let down. I am trying to get help but it’s not working. If they don’t want to help me why should I help myself?
I can’t stop the tears and I have coped the only way I know at the moment then I picked up the phone and spoke to the Samaritans for a bit. It made me feel a little better for a bit. I took a diazepam and a few sleeping tablets and slept. I don't think they will be the last ones of the night either.