Conversation one:

'Mama, I got a red dot on my finger! People at school will laugh at me!'
'No the wont honey' I say, reassuringly as I examine the tiny felt pen mark 'they'll laugh at the massive green splodge all over your mouth that makes you look like a zombie'

I am queen of reassurance.

I had a good idea for party favours- instead of plastic crap I'd buy little peat pots and give every kid a seed to grow. Sadly the purveyor of little peat pots was next to Hawkins bazaar and I accidentally bought all this plastic crap for me. Tiny food though!

Conversation two:
'Do you want a bag?'
'No I don't need one- holy crap, no, I need that. Gimme the space hopper bag.'