Build a bonfire

Boris Johnson closed a dozen or so of London's fire stations today.

You know Boris? That's right, the funny one.

Anyway, he decided we needed the fire stations to be turned into flats. Albeit not ones that any of us can actually afford. You have to laugh.

Gary, here, isn't laughing, though. He'd worked at the Kingsland Road station for 25 years. Most of his watchmates didn't make it down to the vigil outside today because they are utterly miserable about the whole thing.

Still, as usual, Boris has provided a punchline. He doesn't want fires putting out, but he does want high-powered hose pipes to literally drown out protesters.

Boris, you utter c... c... card.