A step..

Didn't quite accomplish all I planned for today but I suppose I did my best. I took a step and signed up for the Bupa 10k run in May. Scary but exciting. It's a start for now I suppose. Its an experience and isn't that what life is about. The cultivation of experiences, memories and adventures.
I talked to Lydia , she's not doing great. She took a step and the world pushes back. Her GP is hopeless and horrible. It makes me so angry. She doesn't care. Nobody cares when you can't see the problem. When the disease is in the mind and not the body. Makes it easier for them to walk away, to pass on by without helping. We are being failed.
I feel like I have so much churning around in my head its hard to focus, hard to settle and relax. I don't know why but it feels like I'm running out if time. For what I'm not sure. Like when I get back to London I must be perfect with a plan in place and everything under control. I'm worrying I'm not doing something I can't even think of yet! I have to accept that that is not the case. It's a transition. In fact it may be easier up there, I think I'll be able to concentrate more. I'm going to miss everyone though so much. I think I'm going to miss this Chloe as well.