A Foggy Christmas Eve or Rudolph to the Rescue

Rudolph, born in a Montgomery Ward stable, traveled north to find his own kind and ended up living at the North Pole with this fat guy who employed elves to make toys for all the world's children. Only the strongest and the bravest reindeer were chosen to pull the sleigh for Santa, a.k.a. Kris Kringle, St. Nicholas, and many other names, which made Rudolph wonder if Santa was actually in some sort of Witness Protection Program. Anyway, Rudolph had a hard time joining in reindeer games, etc, because he, gasp!, didn't look like the rest of them. That glowing red nose just was rather off putting to the reindeer who wanted everyone to conform to modern reindeer standards, which would be a black, wet nose. So, Rudolph did the best he could and wandered the frozen north, visiting with polar bears to amuse himself. As luck would have it, Christmas Eve, the night that the fat guy (who was actually a nice, jolly sort of man, which was remarkable given that he chose to live in extreme Arctic weather and only saw the outside world once a year) did his thing, was terribly foggy. You could hardly see the hand in front of your face kind of foggy. Pea soup. Zero visibility. You get the picture.

The big, brave reindeer told Santa..."No way, no how, no siree Santa, are we going to fly out into that muck. Ain't happening Big Guy." And off they went to the local pub to knock back a few.

Rudolph happened to come in from visiting with the bears and his red nose lit up the countryside. Santa, wandering back from the pub after trying in vain to get Donder off of his big reindeer butt, saw Rudolph and he knew he could use this, up to now, useless reindeer. He presented the problem and Rudolph knew this was why he left the comfort of the Advertising industry to come to live here. He could finally help the Big Guy. The other reindeer were tumbling out of the pub by now, all warm and cozy and drunk as skunks. Santa rounded them up and told him about his plan. Well, old Rudy saved the day and the other reindeer thought maybe he was okay to socialize with now. That might have been the booze talking, however.

Anyway, everyone hitched up to the big sleigh filled with toys, the elves headed to the pub, Santa got out that gaudy red suit he insisted on wearing, and Rudolph, with his nose brightly shining, guided the sleigh out of the North Pole and on around the world so that children would receive their presents.

When they got back home - tired, exhausted but very happy, Rudolph gathered together his new "friends" and told them " You know, I was a good guy before this started and the only ones who would have anything to do with me were the bears. I can't believe you all would be so prejudiced against me because I have a shiny red nose. Who cares about stuff like that? I don't want friends who like me because I saved the day, I want friends who like me because I'm ME!!"

And with that, Rudolph left the other reindeer in the snowy dust, went to the barn to eat, had a nice snooze, then resumed talking to the bears, who were actually a lot more interesting than you would think.

The End

PS It is very foggy in Portland. Merry Christmas Everyone!