Reality

Me.

Whilst in conversation with the Doctor yesterday afternoon I felt the tingling on my lip that indicated the inevitable cold sore. It started as she mentioned referrals and surgery.
Proof if ever it was needed that stress is a trigger!

Woke up this morning with a lip that was fat as fat can be. Looked like a bad botox job. Hurts like hell and makes me feel self conscious but the bloody minded bit of me says I shouldn't care, so I am trying not to.

It is clear that my immune system is low. Spots, cold sores, tired.

I told someone at work that I did somewhere between 70 and 80 hours last week (Saturday to Saturday, so 8 days) and they looked at me as if to say I was lying. That doesn't include travelling to and from work. Lunch is a luxury, staying hydrated is a lucky accident and 'comfort breaks' are few and far between.

This is reality for many of us and some days there is no other choice, because we are pulled from pillar to post, with many different people wanting us to do things, complete jobs, jump to a tune that is different from the one you were playing. If you can't meet those demands, people feel that you are letting them down or are being lazy, irresponsible or uncaring, when in reality, you just cannot split yourself into that many different pieces.

And trying to meet these demands leaves me looking at least 15 years older than I am and struggling to keep a smile on my face. If it wasn't for some fantastic youngsters who make it a joy to teach, then I would seriously consider what on earth this is all for!