Ambuscade

It is desirable and idealistic that you could live without being constantly alarmed, reserved and alerted. It's not healthy at all to all the time have eyes in the back of your head. But still, life keeps us in an alarmed state every now and then.

Maybe some of you know the feeling when your life is in a state when you just can't be totally relaxed. I mean a kind of relaxation when you have everything quite well, and you don't have to search after anything... I myself feel quite restless all the time, because I feel an urge to look after all that I miss in my life. I feel that I have to all the time be awaken and nimble so that the small chances finding my dreams wouldn't pass without me noticing them.

I feel that is this life situation I am all the time in a state of war, or at least I am always prepared to it. My mind is restless and my eyes sharp, my body tense and strained. Like my whole body and mind would just wait for the first attack and strike. I have my sky lanterns ready to be released up to the sky as a message of the sudden ambush.

It is really stressful to be waiting and waiting either for the war to be over or to the deadly strike to hit me. When you see the sky overwhelmed with my sky lanterns you can draw a conclusion of the state of my own war.