The Legend of Henry The Hoover

When we first met it was love at first sight. Our eyes met across a crowded room and I knew he was the one for me. He was so handsome, wih those laughing eyes and he way he'd sometimes wear his hat back to front when he wanted to look cool. We'd spend every day in each other's company, me dragging him around by the nose and him just happy to follow, smiling his beautiful smile.

Then, all of a sudden, it started to go wrong. My fault, I know, that special something just wasn't there anymore. I had to admit it to myself, time spent with him was a chore and I began clutching at any excuse not to do so.

He grew bitter, accusing me of spending time with other appliances (Mr Telly and Mr Tablet) and I felt so guilty I could no longer look him in the eye.

We still see each other occasionally, but only when we absolutely have to, and it's awkward for both of us. It's the same old story, you know the one - girl meets boy, girl takes boy home from Curry's, girl swears she'll love boy forever, girl falls out of love and hides boy in cupboard so she never has to think about him ever again. It's a story as old as time itelf.