It's been an extremely difficult day.
It was hard getting out of bed; took me until lunch time and several times, sitting up then lying back again. But I had a goal today and I had to see it through.

The goal was to tell Mum everything, as I am not sure what will happen after R phones the GP tomorrow; if anything.
Told her exactly how am feeling, what I am doing and what I would like to do.
Her reaction; 'well I didn't feel suicidal when I had depression', and continued to tell me her story which I know like the back of my hand. She also told me that a psychologist wouldn't help me, nobody could.
Then asked me who could she tell!! You couldn't make it up.

She then forced me to tell Steven and Kelly or she would. A much better and supportive response from them, but shocked.
At the moment I don't feel better for telling them, but hopefully in time I will.

I now feel agitated and my heart is thumping. Think I need a big cry!

Thank you everybody who stopped by yesterday. Means a lot.