Note to self!

Note to self
Do not turn up at a posh shop to try on a posh frock wearing blue check long over the knee socks & trainers!
Bring brush to comb hair which by the time you try on 10 dresses is frazzled & standing on end!
Shave under arms with more care
Liberally douse oneself in perfume as you sweat profusly trying to squeeze into a clingy dress
Avoid anything with a zip as it bites, gets caught in your bra or your arms are too short!
Be aware when shop assistant is lying telling you that you look good when you actually look like you have just stepped off the croft & you know it!
Note look of panic on said shop assistant when you tell her the dress she has carefully selected for you looks like something you would wear at your worst enemies funeral!
Always read the price! (first one I looked at was £450!!)
Seriously this was the biggest workout I have had in God knows when! I was a sweating pig by the end of it.
Decided to try the shops in Hyndland Rd first as was not wanting to go into the bloody town. First shop had irritating assistant that eyes you up and decided your Britain's last hope thus dissapears in among the rails rather than speak to you. Their dresses were horrible & expensive
Second shop two doors down called Jasmine (the name alone was enough to scare me) went in & assistant was at least nice, gave me that look that said she liked a challenge! After trying on what seemed to be every damn dress in the place, she had me almost convinced I looked good in a tartin affair that would have shamed even Bonnie PRince Charlie himself! She was a tryer I will grant her that. Finally at the bottom of the heap she had gingerly passed to me through the curtain was one that looked like it had possibilities . "would you like a second opinion" she ventured through the thick double glazed changing room curtains. Finally I thought I found one that didn't make me look like something out of the Living Dead & plucked up the courage to show her. Strangly her eyes were drawn the blue check socks first but then the look of releif on her face told me I had finally picked something wearable! Boom ~Job done. Paid for it then left & went into the sexy lingerie shop next door and demanded a pair of Bridgit Jones knickers that would hold everything from chin downwards in.. To my shock she didn't bat a false eyelid and showed me the longest pair of knickers in Christendom. AFter I stopped laughing....... I bought them

To be continued!