IVF Journey: Officially pregnant day 4

This is my IVF diary. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for four years now, and have a diagnosis of 'unexplained infertility'. We have finally reached the top of the waiting list for IVF - a form of assisted conception. I'm blogging about what happens as it happens, as a kind of therapy for me and as an awareness raising exercise of what IVF is all about.

I can’t explain how weird this feels.

Within a day of each other something awful I guess I have been dreading my whole life has finally happened, and something wonderful I have been trying so hard to get for more than four years has finally happened.

My Dad has died, and I am pregnant.

I’m trying to compartmentalise these two events, keep them separate. I need to be sad, and I need to be happy.

I expected to be excited and terrified if I ever found out I was pregnant. I never even imagined that such a momentous event could be so cruelly usurped.

I suppose the happy could keep.

But I do need to try and stay calm and minimise the stress.

I don’t know how to be or how to feel.

It is confusing.