The day it nearly ended

Today this man moved my property to access next door. He kicked my plant pots out the way. I went over and moved them back and asked him not to move them they must stay where they are. He shouted at me and said no way would he go through the correct access and picked the bin up to carry over my pots and pushed me out of the way. He then declared my dog had bitten him (who was on a lead as we were just going out).

I walked around my house in a daze. I then tidied around to make everything tidy for my husband. And left with the dogs. I called at the petrol station. I didn't know where I was going. I thought a long drive never to return.

At the petrol station was a rough ish looking geezer. Elderly but still thug looking. He bought some flowers. I thought someone's in trouble typical flowers from the garage would save the day.

I went to the church with my boys. I thought if life is going to end it may as well be at the church. After all its supposed to be a safe place. Me and my boys will be at peace there. The church and gardens are very old rustic and beautiful. We love to walk here and this is where we will be.

I think i am an atheist but god is with me today.

As I got out the car the man from the garage walked down the lane. Oh no I panicked should I get back in my car and lock the doors. I laughed to myself the irony I'm happy to end my life but not some psycho looking thug will end it for me. It will be my choice.

The man walked past me and gave me a lovely smile. I was half frozen with fear.

He walked into the cemetery strolled up to a grave and fell to his knees and placed the flowers lovingly on her grave.

That man has saved my life.

I realised that could be my own husband carrying out that beautiful heartbreaking gut wrenching scene. I will not put my husband through that torture he would be lost without me as i would him. And I had thought the man was a thug. What do they say... Never judge a book by its cover. My time is not up today.

What a beautiful man. Everyone has a guardian angel. Thank you whoever is looking over me and my boys today.

I phoned cousin Sarah in my confused, shocked state. I am disgusted at my near close shave. I am surrounded by people who love me how could I ever contemplate hurting them with grief for the rest of their days. My husband sister parents family and friends I love and care for them all so much. My Sarah will always be there for me - snot, laughter an'all.

Depression is a terrible disease. I will not allow these evil people to dictate mine or my families life. Thank you Sarah for calming me down.

I have snapped out of my disease these people make me have. Thank you for reminding me - I am the strong formidable woman you and my husband know and love.

Cue Katie perry (always humour to the end) cos you're going to hear me ROARRRRRRR.