Rebuilding

My biggest stress today was to choose which soup I would have…Had a choice of minestrone, chicken and country vegetable or carrot and coriander. Chose minestrone after much soul searching and an advisory from a friend…. 
It dawned on me as I made the choice that I’m in a good place now…. after a year of almost daily debilitating pain I can happily say I haven’t taken a pain killer in over two weeks…and feeling great…. Can now look forward to a new season of hunting….and everything else… Physical pain is easy though….in comparison to mental anguish. I’ve experienced both and it’s what I believe…. When I was in physical pain I had all the pain killers I needed to get me through the day in relative comfort. When my wife died eight years ago there was no pain killer that could dull the pain, the nightmares, the daily feeling of utter helplessness and hopelessness I put on myself for not being able to cure her cancer, the loss of appetite for food…or for life…. But family and friends made the difference….and helped dull the anger and sense of loss… and eventually help me get my life back together… You know it’s very difficult to stay in bad humour all the time when you’re with good people…really…. I prefer physical pain so much more than mental stress… I can deal with that…easily…. So when I talk to my friend who has recently lost a loving partner I can understand very well the hell hole that beckons…and hope I can be a rung on the ladder that can bring her back safely…….just saying….and hoping…