Thinking of the fear I've had so long....

In 1986, I sat on a Bank window ledge opposite that Spire whilst Si was in his solicitors next door, and I contemplated that the derelict building below it would be a splendid venue for a bar.

In 1987, I landed my first job after Uni, and found myself managing a bar/restaurant in Glasgow; and was astounded when the owners announced a new venue the following year, and did I want to move over to it. It was the building with the steeple.

I moved over full of high hopes and expectations...

But it turned out to be a difficult and scary time, quite possibly the worst period of my life. There were a few good times, and happy memories, but the scary things haunted me.

We decided to stop off on the way home try and banish some demons. The bar we had worked in, closed shortly after we left, opened a few years later as a job centre, and then lay empty again. Recently, it has been taken over by a pub chain and had reopened. I wanted to step back inside and see how it felt.

We walked through the town, look at what had changed, looked at what had stayed the same. Laughed at some funny memories, and stood close together when the memories were too rough.

We stood outside the bar and hesitated, but then we walked in. The door was the same, but the inside was completely remodeled. There was nothing left of what had been before. So we turned and left.

My heart had been racing the whole time we were in the town, and the memories had comeback rather too close for comfort.

I think somethings are maybe better left in the past.