Boots :-)

(Backblipped 18/10/13 shamefully!)

I can't believe I didn't blip this on the day, I was so excited. Maybe it was that the photo was rubbish, maybe there was just too much to write and no time but it was a massively important day.

I had my consultant appointment to discuss the results of the MRI scan. Well that didn't go as I thought. I'd anticipated making a decision about surgery to fuse 2 bones in my foot. The MRI though was much worse than we'd expected from the x-ray and that was in a very good week. I was pain free at MRI. The only surgical option is to fuse all 5 bones (navicular, cuboid and the 3 cuneiforms) and that is an option neither he nor I want to consider at the moment. So my options are:

(1) grin and bear it. That's not going stunningly well so far.
(2) cortisone injection and see if I'm one of the group that benefit
(3) the surgery where neither of us want to go.

Hmmm. In some ways it's a relief. The MRI shows significant degenerative changes, bone bruising, oedema and loss of structural integrity (i.e. the arch looks like it was built by someone who'd skipped all architectural and construction engineering lectures. Not an epic fail as it got me through the first 40 years OKish but not scraping a pass either.) As someone who's done lots of studying of pain mechanisms and understands better than the vast majority what's going on in persistent pain, I shouldn't really need evidence of pathology to justify the level of pain that's happened on and off. I shouldn't but it certainly helps rationalise things.

And it's also crystallised a number of dilemmas I've been wrestling with during this process:

(1) I'm definitely off-stage for the foreseeable future. That one's easy, I've already made steps in that direction.

(2) I need a new job. A career that requires me to be on my feet all day for the next 20+ years does not make sense. Even my consultant who says he never tells anyone they have to give anything up agrees with that one. To be honest, it's not just my foot. I've one fake hip, one arthritic hip, the really dodgy foot, another that's not entirely pain free and a few joints in my hand starting to whinge after a lot of hands on treatment. With each one, at some stage in the process, a professional has said that it's not arthritis as I've still got a lot of movement. The early radiology has agreed and then the final one has gone oops, no, there you go. I've come to the conclusion that my cartilage is just a bit soft and rubbish and I no longer feel like a hypochondriac when I assume there will be cartilage changes/OA. I've been right too many times now.

So if I want to enjoy the next 1/2 of my life, I'm going to accept the OA and start looking after my joints. I'm not suddenly going to turn über-sensible all of a sudden but a less physical job is definitely required. It'll be odd but necessary. I'd rather attack something new with gusto than feel restricted all the time.

(3) I think there was a 3. Ironically, I'm finally writing this on the day where I had the cortisone injection. Pure bliss for 3 hours and then BOOM! It feels like an elephant has jumped up and down on my foot. I'm catching up on blip to distract myself but it's not entirely working.

(4) I've remembered the 3! If this is it, then I need to find some shoes that fit my orthotics and I can walk in that still make me feel female. I've spent the last 9 months in trainers, walking boots or men's riding boots. An old pair of sparkly fit flops have been dragged out for slightly posher moments but they don't really cut it. And I've K's graduation on Friday. Fit flops and black trousers. Hmmm.

As you can see from above, the lovely ladies in Jones solved my dilemma. Midweek shopping meant an empty store and miraculously they were able to satisfy my demands for flat knee high boots with a wide foot to fit the blasted orthotics in but a narrow calf. Internet searching suggested most boots assumed that if you have a wide foot you also have wide calves. Nope. The solution was an above knee boot which comes to below my knee (!) and makes me feel better than I've felt in a long time. I'm not a great believer in retail therapy but today these boots more than made up for the consultant appointment. Way, way, way, way more :-)

Of course, now I have boots, I can wear a skirt but I don't fit into my skirts from pre-hip days. So popping out to by a scone to cheer me up turned into a slightly more expensive collection of boots, skirt, posh cardi and scarves. Oops!

Vx