What Made You Think?

I was born August 1 1995.
You brought me home a few weeks after that.
I never have liked to be picked up.
Rarely will I jump onto your lap.
If you insist on petting me....please use your feet...and be sure to stretch and strain yourself to reach me....I never get too close.
I will allow you to brush me and I purr soooo loud but only to a point....then I'll hiss at you. Maybe you didn't do anything to deserve it....but you would have eventually.
What on earth makes you think, suddenly, I'm going to be the cute kittycat that poses for your stupid picture.