or Discard.

I woke up face down on my Carpet this morning.
After lying very still for as long as humanly possible, topless, and cold I attempted to get up, however... during my evening of Unconsciousness, it appeared that someone had decided to replace my head with a Rock... An extremely heavy, incredibly ugly and very bulbous Rock.
After what can only be described as a Herculean effort on my part, I managed to lift the Atlas-stone that was now attached to my neck, up and into the kitchen.
What followed was an incredibly shambolic attempt at breakfast, it consisted of all things sugar, several pints of coffee and everything else was fried in butter, I continued eating until my head began to feel slightly less bulgy and my mouth a little less like a badgers arse.
I then spent most of my day in bed dribbling into my laptop at the Great British Bake off... Only venturing out into the rain later for some much needed sympathy.
Now i'm not a mean hearted type of person, but seeing this umbrella did at least just for a moment, make me feel a tiny little bit better about my day.
I hope you all feel considerably more excellent than me. x