Problems with the contents? No shit!

Problems with the contents?! You're not saying...

Let me take a guess.

Could it be that the author of document 2905, that one who has been working on it on and off for the last 10 days, happened to wipe the fucking thing from the face of this earth. Or at least from his hard drive...

Let me guess. For some stupid unknown reason, he first saved the document to a file containing his April 2013 .raw files instead of his default work folder.

Let me guess, this guy who trumpets to anyone around him who will still listen that he is the back-up freak, that he backs up stuff in the cloud, on his secondary hard drive and on an offsite external drive, this back-up freak guy had only one version of the document he has been working on for the last ten days, and that he opened by using the "recent documents" shortcut, not really knowing that the file was saving in his shaggin April 2013 raw files folder rather than his default work folder.

Let me guess, that instead of proofreading the 3,000 word document one last time before submission the following day, he decides to do some spring cleaning in his hard drive because he is down to his last 10 gigabytes and deletes his April to September raw files (the ones so big that you get a message saying that they are too big for the Recycle Bin and a request to confirm that you want to delete them permanently pops up).

Well, that muppet was me.

I did click on the "yes, you bet, I want to delete permanently these huge raw images files, they take too much space and I download the raw files to my home desktop from my camera anyway so everything is backed up" button.

Never have so many "shit, shit, SHIT!!!! fuck , fuckfuckfuck FUCK FUUUUUUUUCKs" echoed around the second floor of the POW.

Cue rush to the IT wizzards ("do NOT switch it off and switch it back on again!")

I've learned a fair bit about the undelete freeware floating around the internet.

It will scan your whole hard drive (32 minutes). Find all the files that you have deleted since the dawn of times (thank god nothing embarrassing, I am a very moral person) and find the file that you deleted!

And ask you if you want to open it (You bet, what a stupid question! Does a 19 year old acneed virgin teenage boy want to get laid? Does the Sight Savers smiley student with the clipboard want you to sign the direct debit form?)

You bet your fluffy arse you click on the "Yes!!!" button.

And then you get the message displayed above.

Cannot be opened because there are problems with the contents

How fucking clever of you, undelete freeware. Why don't you add a sarcastic "you muppet!" at the end of your useless message that took 32 minutes to brew?

I am right now feeling the light-headedness and sense of euphory that only a muppet who has spent the last 24 hours rewriting a 3,000 word document of corporate-speak wank feels when he saves the final version to his default work folder, and his secondary hard drive, and to the Cloud.

Now, let me guess... what is this muppet going to do now?
Press the review button and post this touretty outburst?
Yes.
But not before he has saved the text into a Notepad file, backed up on his secondary hard drive, and the cloud, and an offlsite external drive.



Because I am a backup freak.