The Kitchen Table Tarot, or, How To Equate Your Do

This, I swear, is not a set-up, its just how I found my kitchen table this evening. So, as an aspiring soothsayer to the gullibly rich and famous (I call it "Ging-Er Shui"), here is my reading of my own life, as infallibly indicated in the arrangement above:
The bills from service provider companies indicate a vague sense of financial anxiety, coupled with a reluctance to address potential "yen" inadequacies. My "Bottom Dollar" module can help with that, see special offers below.
The empty coffee pot- too easy really,- it just means you prefer "Ging-Er Green Tea"- see special offers below.
The empty box of cheap Polish cigarettes- indicate a desire to break the habits of a lifetime-(see special detox offers below)
The eggcup of seasalt- the sublimated desire to take "All Of This With A Pinch Of That...Not Taking It Too Personally The Ging-er Shui Way", $14.99, see below.
The binoculars- just some cheap birthday present some "friend " gave you. Get classier friends ;the "Ging-er Shui Way!" (see offers below).
The handgun; please remember, we at Ging-Er Shui do not make house calls