Do my eyes deceive me?

It's October. Early October in fact. So why have we got this malarkey going on in the shops? We haven't had Halloween yet, or bonfire night. Then our US friends will celebrate thanksgiving.

So listen here John Lewis, I'm a true devotee and I routinely hand over half of my salary to your gracious staff.... BUT if you insist on starting Christmas in October I shall insist on taking my ginormous consumption elsewhere. Are we clear?