Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

Dear Dad,


In the 28 years since you have been gone, I have to be honest; things have changed so much that if you were to beam down from the Mother Ship for one day, you would just drop dead all over again!

Way back when you were here, your favourite thing in the house was the Telly Remote. You kept it perched on your shoulder like a parrot, selecting which one of the four channels we should watch. Then you would fall asleep on the chair “watching” your chosen programme, and woe betide us if we should try and steal that box away. “I was watching that”, you would say. “Yes, Dad, with your eyes shut”.

Imagine the excitement if you could get your hands on a Sky Plus Box. More channels that you can possibly watch, more crap films than even you could enjoy, pausing LIVE TV, rewinding the programme to hear what was said. I can imagine you recording every crap cowboy film in the world and never moving from your armchair as you watched them all over and over. Golf and Cowboys. That is what our viewing would consist of.

We have “smart” phones now… we text, send pictures, we can even video chat with each other – all over the world. Computers are in every house, (nearly every room), and you can play Golf games on them, and find out all the information on every golfer that every lived on them.

More excitingly, I got married! Remember watching Officer and A Gentleman? I said “that will be what happens to me”, and you said “Sailors are mostly after one thing, and once they get it, you won’t see them again”, but it did happen! I got my sailor and he came back to me, and I’ve still held on to him!

Scarily, I have children – and one of them is older than I was when you left. Boy is in America – studying and playing hard and writing stories and being funny. I don’t think he’ll come home but that is okay; the world is big and I want them to experience it all. Girl is in Edinburgh, and every time I drive back or forward from seeing her, or dropping her off, I think of you and the in-lieu days you took to come and collect me. I still remember how long it took you to drive between different sections of the M8, you had it all measured out between poles and antenna. We would chat all the way home – me about parties and pubs, you about golf. Girl will probably fly south. I think she will be something important in the Civil Service – she’s awfully smart!

I wonder sometimes how my two would cope if I were to leave suddenly, but I think they will be fine. I was, and am fine. It hurt like mad when you left – but weirdly, we had said our goodbyes – and I knew you loved me. If nothing else, your leaving taught me to make sure everyone I love knows that I do, every second of every day and to make the most of everything I have.

Helen

PS
If there’s any sunshine up there on the mothership – can you send some for the weekend, my sailor is going camping again!