Always climbing up

I have felt myself totally exhausted and depressed the latest few weeks. I can't tell if it's the new job and the stress, or is it the fall. I can't tell if it's lack of sleep, lack of time, or the feelings of being a bad mother to my little kittens. I can't say if it's the company I have around me, or the places I spend time at. I can't tell if it's more about me and my head, or more the environment and people around me. Or is it maybe all these things..?

It is hard when you are expected to climb and climb and climb up, always up and even above the up you've already achieved. I feel that I am rolling down the stairs that I have successfully climbed up the last five months. It is hard when you know you have been going up with full speed for so long, and suddenly you have run out of gas.

More than anything in this world, I hate the feeling of energy lost and depression.