Time to Leave

After almost four years and 12,000 miles of family duty, it is time for our Citroen C4 Picasso to leave us.

After reviewing all of the candidate cars to replace our Audi A2, the Picasso seemed to be the most forward-thinking, stylish, economical and practical choice. It scored heavily over the VW Touran and Ford C-Max, both of which we found quite small and mired in design convention. The Picasso had ripped up the rulebook of interior design, and was greatly improved for it.

Ours was the 2 litre (135BHP) diesel, fitted with Citroen's "EGS" - a single clutch robotic manual "auto" gearbox. This combination was to underpin what would become my deep-seated loathing of the car.

Internally, the Picasso was excellent. Mounting all the controls around the steering wheel removed the central tunnel from between the front seats, and gave excellent interior space. Cubby holes abound, including a slightly cooled (not "refrigerated" as is claimed) space under the stereo. The high and steeply raked windscreen gives excellent interior light, even with the rear privacy glass. Plenty of space in the back for our three monsters, and good usable boot space also, with split-opening tailgate.

The Picasso was cheap to buy. We scored a year-old, ex-Avis car with around 12,000 miles for just slightly over half of the retail price of a new car. It was cheap to run too. I'll not tell you its fuel economy, since its usage pattern does not facilitate economical running, but servicing was around £100 for a small service, £150 for a larger one. It didn't really trouble the Goodyear tyres during our time with it, although two were replaced after punctures.

So, what went wrong? Well, mechanically, almost nothing, apart from a very costly rear suspension failure yesterday (the day before trade-in). Although it seemed good enough on the test drive, we just didn't like it very much in the end. The engine is agricultural in the extreme. There's simply no getting away from the fact that it's a fairly old diesel unit. The 2.0 dCi engine in our Espace is more powerful, smoother and quieter, although the Citroen's engine does have a huge low-mid range punch. The gearbox gets better the faster you drive it, although it somehow never seemed to come to terms with the driving style of either me or Mrs Edinburgh Chap. Worst though, was its insistence on not changing up to 2nd gear at anything less than 11mph. Fine if you're pulling away from junctions, but absolute kangaroo hell in traffic. No techniques could be used to get around this. I tried left foot braking, and I tried using full manual mode, but nothing could relieve the awfulness of the driveline jerking. In congested traffic, this is the worst car I've ever driven.

And we live in Edinburgh, where congestion is the typical driving experience.

Another note on the uselessness of the driveline is that in 4 years, Mrs Edinburgh Chap was never really able to get the measure of driving it at a creep (less than 3mph). The clutch engage/disengage cycle is too rough for anyone without the most sensitive of right feet. The car desperately needs to have some clutch slip engineered into the gearbox software.

Beyond the sub-15mph performance, the Picasso has lots of grip and can be quick, although it never feels eager. In fact, it never feels anything but reluctant when going fast even though it's piled on some decent pace. It's fractionally faster in a straight line than the 175BHP Grand Espace. But it feels wider, taller and heavier than the Espace, even though it is none of these things. It's comparatively difficult to place on the road, throttle response is poor, and the gearbox is slow to react to manual changes through the paddles. It comes to something when you realise that you'd rather take an automatic diesel Zafira for a drive...

So, the final reckoning. Although it behaved itself, was reliable and capable, none of us in the family really bonded with it. Its foibles made it a car to be tolerated. It never surprised us with its capability or by being enjoyable to drive, be driven in, or own. It was a utility vehicle which aspired to competence.