Phil's Birthday

Carmen and Philip, Sue’s eldest brother, celebrated Phil’s 77th birthday with other family members (and me) at a restaurant in Newport, Oregon. The family regaled Philip with stories, memories, and questions about his childhood. The eldest in a large Catholic family, Phil was sent off to Jesuit boarding school when he was thirteen, possibly because someone hoped he’d become a priest. This didn’t work, he says, because he liked women too much to commit to celibacy, but he ended up sticking with Jesuit education and didn't stop till he had several college degrees. His siblings are still trying to piece together the parts of his life they missed.

After his first marriage ended, he met Carmen in a church group, they dated for ten years and then married, and are (as you can see) very well-suited. They live in California, where Carmen is involved in social activism, especially for the homeless community. Phil has had several careers--as a developer, a builder, a family counselor, and a tax accountant--and is still working with gusto.

We talked about how, in a large family, each child has a different experience of their parents. Each has a different perception of their place in the universe, based on family dynamics. “I think I didn’t quite work through all that,” Phil laughed, “till I was seventy-two.“

The lighting in the restaurant was dim and not very conducive to a good portrait, but their good humor and their delight in the night and in each other shines through.