Compassion

The angsty blip that never materialised refuses to go away.

I have something that if it needed a label would most closely resemble dysthemia (mild but long term depression). Also for the sake of full disclosure anxiety disorder and OCD. So far, so boring. I hate writing these things down, it makes me feel weak and self indulgent to call them by their proper names.

Unfortunately severe anxiety has been battering down my door and demanding I give it attention like an insistent child pulling on a trouser leg. I've been applying the "one foot in front of the other method" of getting through each day, effective in its way - clothes get washed and food gets cooked - but ultimately soul destroying. I've been here before and eventually lines must be drawn and solutions sought. Today I stumbled upon the work of Dr Kristin Neff, an advocate of Self Compassion. Summed up pretty much as "Do unto yourself as you would do to others" self compassion does just what it says on the tin. You wouldn't tell a friend to stop being so pathetic and just get a grip so don't do it to yourself.

So today self compassion looks like toad in the hole, and rhubarb crumble and custard, Just A Minute and The Archers.

Please believe I don't record any of this in a poor me way, more so I can look back when it all goes south again.