Wild Wednesday

Er... excuse me?

I know you're probably keen to pick the surplus bits of dead pigeon out from between your toes - but would you mind not sitting on my car while you're doing it? You keep sliding around on the bonnet, and I'd rather you didn't have to keep anchoring yourself in my paintwork with your talons.

Also - would you tidy up after yourself a bit? Given that you've already eaten the best bits, I'd sooner you removed the rest of that pigeon, so I don't have to step over it whenever I need to cross the yard. Plus, the entire place is so covered in white feathers, it looks as if it's been snowing - if I give you a dustpan and brush, could you sweep them up please?

No? Nothing to say...?

Rude.