Work in progress

I am steadily getting the strawberries trimmed and divided. A dozen done. 6 more to do.

I am increasing my plants from 18 to 30, partly through dividing last year's plants and partly through nurturing runners.

And with any luck in six months time I'll be flooded with fruit. 

It has been a day of gentle work Chez M&B. I have needed a constructive but not wearisome day after my gloom 24 hours ago.

It was a relatively rare day of feeling sorry for myself. I know I have said before that in times past I suffered from depression on a regular basis, when it would have been too hard to pull myself out of the kind of emotions I experienced yesterday. 

Over the years I have benefited from the help from some really good counsellors, and from time to time I have taken time out from everyday life to bury myself in self-reflection and self-healing, to the point that now I can identify the arrival of the black pit over my shoulder (which is how I envisage depression) and I have strategies to find my way back into the full light. 

The most important thing for me is to acknowledge the black pit's presence. Very often that is all it takes, and it recedes. Occasionally I need to allow myself to enter it, to consider via my diary what is creating the gloom, and to create a gentle slope up which I can walk back to the light.

It no longer scares me in the way it used to. I am able to accept that occasional depression is part of my personality, part of my life. It doesn't last long these days, and yesterday's flirtation with the black pit was a perfect example of its fleeting nature. 

I am very fortunate to have a friend and counsellor I can contact when I need help. Her presence (online, in Canada) gives me a great feeling of security. She is my safety net, and I have asked her for help twice in the last 10 years. In each case one single (lengthy) conversation has put me back on track. She is part of my treasured community.