Congratulation

‘Congratulation for your country’, said the guard, as I left the office.

When I enquired what I was being congratulated for, he said something about Ureno (Portugal) and Cristiano Ronaldo. I confirmed I am British and not Portuguese. I am not mad about the mix-up but I’m about a foot taller than the average Portuguese man so it’s not an easy mistake to make.

Later on I called the mother on her birthday and she was having to endure a game of dentists with my niece.

I went for Chinese food with my friend Kwame and we had some very fluorescent green drinks. Chemicals masquerading as peppermint.