Ten Minutes, this is your ten minute call...

... shouts Quentin, over the almost deafening sound of the scraping of the bottom of the television format barrel.

Here we see Holly Willoughby (32) and Fearne Cotton (31) having the finishing touches put to their make-up before the recording of yet another mind-numbingly puerile Saturday night television show. What were the BBC thinking!?

On the plus side, my telly has an off button - hurrah!