One of the hardest and most challenging days at work.
Once I had shut the door I couldn’t contain my tears (barely contained in the session) and climbing the stairs back to my room clearly concerned young C who was passing on his way out to get some lunch.
I retreated to my room and with no current supervision in place just yet, I Teams’d the Lead and promptly sobbed saying I couldn’t do this anymore. He was already familiar with this particular situation and we have had discussions previously about suitability for our service and the moral dilemma that we are in having to manage the inadequacy and fallout trauma of another service that should be the one most able to provide the multi-disciplinary input needed.
Once I’d finished sobbing I suggested what I had in mind and had the back up to pursue the suggested avenues and acknowledgement of my resistance to setting off the bells and whistles which would have definitely fractured everything that had been built over the many months of extremely fragile process.
All I had to do was wait … was I going to hear back or was it a total and final rupture?

I went up to the kitchen to get a brew only to find young C, bless his cotton socks, has gone and bought something extremely chocolaty and gooey for me : )