Stag

Waking up, still drunk and tied
to a lamppost, is not where I'd
choose to be. Bleary eyed,
aching head and yes...NAKED!
Is it today I'm getting married?

Must have been quite a night.
Guess I was high as a kite
when the boys decided it was alright
to tether me here. It's getting light.
At least one of the lads might

soon be along to get me? Some
might be livid. Not me. Just a bit of fun.
No complaints about what they've done.
On another's stag I'd have done the same.
I'm not looking for anyone to blame

but I bet Barry instigated it. To be honest,
he's a bit of a shit. Definitely not my best
mate. I expect all the rest
thought it simplest
to go along with him. He can get shirty. Test

of my endurance, this. Soon be
over. Someone'll spot me.
Hope they don't take a photo. Just free
me and cover up my nudity.
Starting to feel sick. And I need to pee.

Anyway, just you wait and see,
when I get my hands on that bugger Barry
he's going be sorry. Extremely sorry.
So very very sorry!
But first I must marry Mary.