Hello Carol,

I am in a better mood today.

Yesterday I went to the 1pm meeting where the manager who had arranged it did not show up.

I used the time productively to conduct a straw poll of how rubbish we all think the timing of that meeting is.

The results were overwhelming.

I really hope said manager turns up today so I can deliver the outcome.

Hence, cheerier today.

I would go so far as to say I feel like a room without a roof hey hey hey.

I hope you have an excellent two weeks off and that the Hat of Activities includes some stuff for you in there,

(“Hey kids! Guess what! We’re listening to ABBA and drinking two bottles of wine!”)

As for me, you may have noticed that Caro is trying to start a viral campaign to market our flat.

I got told off for not “sharing” her FB post and she is probably tweeting as we speak.

Don’t laugh, apparently this worked for some mates of ours so if she gets me another 10k through this malarkey it is worth a tweet or two.

Also we discovered last night that we have been house-stalking the same place in Mount Maunganui –

Now, you may look at it and say it is a bit cr*p. I agree.

But you have to see the potential there too, right?

I just love those high ceilings and big windows.

Also, the garage is your room.

We would totally convert that into a bedroom with an en-suite.

So you & the family can move to NZ with us.

Watching all these Aussie renovation shows has empowered Caro & me.
We now look at a house like that and say,

“We’d knock that wall right through, install a wet-room and a walk-in ‘robe*, put in some architraves and a ceiling rose then extend the deck and she’ll be right.”

I may even buy a tool belt.

No tools in it mind you—I would probably sit on something and hurt 
myself.

Enjoy yourself, you big slacker.

*The Australians are all about the “walk-in ‘robe”. Also recessed feature walls. Caro picking out wallpaper patterns already.

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Good. Grumpy Symon is too quiet.

I think the house has masses of potential. All of the rooms look like they are good sizes, which is the main thing.

It’s nice having a blank canvas. You can make it exactly as you want it—with lots of Maori pictures.

I have to say I would be a bit upset by the photos.
Not sure if you need quite as many of the empty living room.
“Ok now, here’s the view when I’ve taken another two steps to the right…”
I also laughed at this bit of the blurb:
“High ceilings, open plan living just waiting for someone to bring flair and character back to this…”
Is that someone supposed to be you?

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Re: Maori pictures. You raise a good point—having the house “exactly as you want it” is never going to happen. 

However, Caro will be happy and I can live in the garage.

I’ll have you know I have tons of flair and character. Tons.

Did you have a look at those links I passed you?

It occurred to me afterward that I gave you no guidance as to what to do after you had clicked on them because it is not necessarily obvious.

Then it occurred to me that I am hugely patronising and you are an IT professional.

So hence: no guidance for Carol.

My niece Abi has started FB messaging me. This is the one who never talks.

So it has been really nice—I suppose she feels able to open up so long as we are not face to face.

She can get quite philosophical, because I guess that’s what we were all like at that age.

So I recommended some books to her and told her to watch Donnie Darko.

I’m feeling like a good uncle for a change.

I’ve also warned my sister that if she displeases me in any way, I will totally dish the dirt on her to her daughter ha ha.

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I have no idea what happened in that last paragraph.

I’m going to blame the man who came to ask me questions in the middle of me writing it.

Incidentally, that conversation went like this:

MAN INTERRUPTING ME WRITING TO YOU:
Symon, can you tell me when a customer’s BPS payment would be zero?

SYMON:
When he doesn’t qualify for a BPS payment because he’s been found ineligible.

MAN:
And can you tell me when his NR payment would be zero?

SYMON:
When he doesn’t qualify for NR because he’s been found ineligible.

MAN:
I see. So he gets BPS if he is eligible or NR when he is eligible.

SYMON:
Yes. And he could be eligible for BOTH, in which case he gets both sorts of payment.

MAN:
I see. So when would his BPS payment be zero?

We went through this loop about three times.

I’m still not sure he gets it.

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Did you not explain that you were in the middle of a personal email which trumps any work query?

I am really driving everyone mad with my cough which sounds like I am losing a lung.

They will be glad I am off after today.

Have I mentioned that?

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Is it just a cough or is your throat sore?

There’s this stuff called “Sanderson’s Throat Specific” which is brilliant for that.

I once went into Boots because I couldn’t talk and that’s what they gave me.

This was after they had stopped laughing at me because I gave them a post-it saying


“I can’t talk what have you got for a sore throat.”

I think they thought I was being a drama queen.

Rude.

You can text me who wants to come to Ladyboys and I’ll do all the booking malarkey.

They serve beer and Thai food also, so it should be a good night.

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My throat is very sore.

Cue sympathy.

I am having the macaroni with kale from Pret.

I have come to the conclusion that kale has no place in macaroni.

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Eww. I tried that once, you should have said—I would have warned you off it.

Chloraseptic is good too, but only if your aim is good.

I always end up totally missing the sore spot and anaesthetising my tongue.

Why am I telling you this? You are a mum and therefore know how to fix everything.

In other news: Lisa is in. She just texted.

Be sure to cough on Clare before you go.

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How did the 1pm rebellion go?

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I got an apology and a promise that the time will change.
 
Which is annoying in some ways. I was getting ready to be cross but instead I was just,

“Oh… Thank you.”

Having said that, I was the only one in the room who brought it up even after yesterday’s rabble-rousing.

I feel like the shop steward sometimes.


Everybody out!