How’s it going? You must be very busy. You are very quiet at the moment.

Have you seen Breaking Bad? Maurice and I have started watching it.

-

Breaking Bad is slow to start and stays so for the first 3 series. I only stuck with it because I am obsessive-compulsive, but Caro drifted off and only came back for series 4 & 5.

You could irritate Maurice by doing the same and then making him tell you what has been happening, like Caro did with me.

 This was particularly annoying because I watched 1 to 3 over the course of about 3 weeks in a marathon blitz.

 Then Caro, with her wacky work hours, came along and it took about 6 months to get through the last 2 series.

Have you tried The Good Wife? Caro LOVES that programme and I’ve seen other reviews saying it is the least-known-best-show on TV.

 I did not watch it from the start because it seemed very chickcentric
(it’s about one of those politician’s wives standing behind her husband while he gives a press conference apologising for drugs & sh*gging)
however I am now thinking I missed out on something.

As you liked Coven, I think you would LOVE True Blood, series 1 to 3 of which were BRILLIANT.

 It has that same funny, bitchy, campy vibe as Coven.

 I got fed up in Series 4 when it was revealed that the main character is a (SPOILER ALERT) which I thought was just stupid, but up to then it was really good.

In theory I am clearing out all our accumulated sh*t right now.
In practice I asked Caro if I could sell her juicer to a friend because she used it precisely 4 times before giving up.

 “No,” she replied, she might get back into it, which means we will be taking what is essentially a piece of ugly modern art to NZ with us.

I actually want to be radical and take almost nothing except changes of knickers and some sentimental keepsakes (like the cats).

-

I will stick with it. I couldn’t duck in and out. That would upset my OCD. Got to do the job properly and all that.

I love the idea that you will take your juicer. It’s a bit like the crisp maker that Rachel asked for one Christmas (essentially a mandolin). It has been used twice – a bit like her popcorn maker. They just collect dust, but god help me if I tried to get rid of them.

On that note, yesterday I tried to get rid of some of the bath toys they have had since they were one. This caused all sorts of panic and we settled for me getting rid of a plastic boat with a cm-thick layer of dust on it while they kept the rest.

I pointed out the fact that as they now shower every morning, neither of them have had a bath in 18 months but this point seemed to lack any validity.

Children are natural hoarders.

If it was up to them, we’d all live in houses where you had to sleep on empty baked bean cans and cornflake boxes rather than throw them out.


I haven’t watched The Good Wife but I have seen reviews which are really good.

I didn’t watch it for the same reasons as you (even though I am a chick).
I might give it a shot.

I want Hannibal to come back. Mmmmmm

-

You are right. I am rubbish. I accept that. I am ok about us being psychically connected. I just keep my graphics set to off. I had a boyfriend who quickly became an ex after suggesting that. The closest I could have got would have been pouring a bottle of lemon Flash on him, but I don’t think that would have cut the mustard!

That’s very exciting about your flat. It would be great to sell it privately without any stress. Are you going to go into overdrive and start clearing out stuff you have spent years accumulating?

We are halfway through season one of Breaking Bad. Maurice likes it, but to be honest, I am quite ambivalent. I don’t hate it but I definitely don’t love it. It all seems very slow at the moment, but I am prepared to stick with it as I seem to be in a minority. I am happy to change the end of my sentences from “@rsehole” to “b1tch.” I am flexible.

I am off next week (yaaaaay) as it’s half-term. I am heading up north with Dora to her auntie’s house for the weekend (she’s away – we have an empty!) and then Maurice is off for a couple of days next week.


I hope you recover from your self-inflicted man flu very serious illness soon.

-

My dad is also a hoarder. He is right now trying to clear out his garage as he is moving house too.

He told me he had pared the Chinese stuff down to “just three vans.”
This is on top of his Turkish & Persian stuff.

I expect he will be found one day, crushed underneath a mountain of porcelain figurines.

I have missed your Kirsten & Rachel stories. I am sure I have said this before, but your children are comedy gold.

Caro tried to fill the void by telling me about her friend Amanda.

(This is the one I told you about before who got told off for shouting “VULVA!” in a crowded restaurant, but that is not relevant here.)

So Amanda has a three-year-old named Oliver.

Caro says Amanda annoys her by always prefixing his name with “my baby boy.”

So Amanda and my baby boy Oliver were taking a walk along the beach at Portie or somewhere, when she needed to change him.

As children do, he took the opportunity to escape with no knickers and run amok but as not many children do, he also took the opportunity to do a sh1t on someone’s sandcastle.


This act alone makes me want to applaud him.

Amanda was annoyed as she had nothing to change him into, but plopped him into the child-seat of the car sitting on her (now pooey) coat.

To get him back into her house as non-pooily as possible, she gave him a fireman’s lift over her shoulder but then ran smack into one of your neighbours as she entered the building.

Apparently his nose nearly went up Oliver’s @rse, Oliver nearly got dropped, and she was forced to catch Oliver in her (now pooey) hands.
When she got in, her husband complained about the day he’d had.
As you might imagine, she had a word or two for him about hers.
I think she won.

Caro does not share your feelings for Mads but had a serious thing for Erik The Viking Vampire in True Blood.

He is the villain of the show which made her go all funny in her lady areas.

She has a thing for the bad boys, so obviously the fact that we are together makes perfect sense.

Yes it does. Shut up.


I think you are both ridiculous, and neither of your superficial lady-crushes can compare to my feelings for Jessica and/or Angela.



I love that Oliver story, but the prefix would drive me insane. He will also need therapy unless she drops that soon.

I once found Rachel’s leaf collection where she had carefully hidden it in a drawer under her t-shirts.

By the time I found it, the leaves had dried out and turned to leaf bits. Not before creating a slightly odd smell and staining the t-shirts which were so carefully hiding them.

I may have had a slight sense of humour failure about that.

I am also getting into trouble as my language firewall is slightly more relaxed as they are getting older.

The other night, I found myself having to answer the question:
“We don’t use words like tw@t, do we Mummy?”

Then I had to answer:
“How rude is tw@t?”
“What does tw@t mean?”
“Is it worse than c u next Tuesday?” (verbatim)


Maurice then amused me by answering:

“No, it’s not the same – it’s Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.”