FOBs Reunited

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Olly arranged for a FOBs lunch at the Peppermill cafe in Porirua. 

On my way there, I got a message from Briar.

I AM AWKWARDLY STANDING OUTSIDE WITH A SCARY FACE

So when I arrived, the two of us took our seats and another scary photo.

WHERE EVEN ARE YOU

Briar texted. 

Olly turned up and we had to take a third picture. 

WE'RE NOT SCARY AT ALL

Said Briar.

Fortunately, none of this put Fazzy off, and we spent a very happy couple of ours talking nonsense. I gave them all their baggies of MSG and an Easter Bunny each.

Fazzy told me how bad the atmosphere at Kāinga Ora has become. "There were stories of people crying in the office," she said.

"Is that because I left?" I asked.

Fazzy rolled her eyes at me. "Yes Symon, it's all because YOU left."

I shouldn't joke. But sometimes it's all you can do. 

Other than that, the chat was all very light hearted. We talked a lot about funerals. But this is what happens when your wife is a funeral director*.

We also chatted about The Princess in Edinburgh because they all love Princess stories and were all spectacularly unsympathetic about The Prince's gout. And of course, they all wanted to know about Laura Faithfull and my adventures in cookery. 

When I got my usual question about MSG being bad for you I said NO NOT TRUE. I added what I had been told - that the reason it has a bad reputation is because RACISM. 

MSG, I said - repeating what I had read on the internet so it must be true - is no worse than salt and used in moderation it is fine. The only reason it has a bad reputation is because it is associated with Asian, not European cuisine therefore RACISM. 

After we said our goodbyes and exchanged brugs, I went to the local supermarket. Porirua supermarkets are a bit better than Paraparaumu ones and I wanted a bottle of hoisin sauce for my next adventure - cashew nut chicken. 

I sent the FOBs a picture of it, because I'd been discussing my hunt for hoisin sauce over lunch. What I hadn't noticed was the label "CONTAINS NO MSG".

OMG YOU BOUGHT RACIST SAUCE

Texted Olly.

I deserved that.

S.

* I should also tell you about Caro's day. I was so proud of her!

She ran her second funeral today, for a lovely family who she felt very close to. This is not unusual for Caro. She seems to have a knack for adopting people and is very quickly becoming a major asset to the funeral home. 

She told me the family just loved the ceremony which was exactly as the departed husband would have wanted. She got hugs and even a mention in the addresses WHICH NEVER HAPPENS.

"When I go, I'm coming here," said the widow. "Not that I'll be here to see you of course," she told Caro.

"Oh I don't know," said Caro. "You'll probably be floating around, checking on things."

I'm honestly astonished by my wife. I just love that people know how well they will be taken care of by her. It's almost like they look forward to leaving, knowing she will be there to see them on.