Red Flag Interview

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I had a fun day today. I had to go into the office wearing a SHIRT.

AM I ALLOWED TO WOLF-WHISTLE?

Texted Megan The Nice Manager.

LIGHT SEXUAL HARASSMENT IS ENCOURAGED.

I countered.

#straighttoHR 

She repsonded.

I told her and Luke that I had an interview at lunchtime, so Luke took me for a nice coffee and sighed that I would soon also be gone. He is a lovely man and very attached to Olly, Fazzy, Briar and me. 

The baristas in New Chapter know Luke well. They always make pictures in his foam.

"Is that a PEN1S? Are you calling me a D1CKHEAD?" he asked the nice waitress lady. She giggled and smiled and sent up the barista.

"It's supposed to be a red panda," he explained. 

"Look, there's even drops of something coming off the end," complained Luke. 

I'll put it in the extras. You can judge for yourself.

So that put me in a very good mood before the interview. But the interview itself was very weird. I think I did well but it was almost like the better I presented myself the worse it got. 

I told them how I like to document things. Which is NORMALLY a good thing to say if you are in a Business Analyst interview. 

"Oh we don't have time for documentation!" said one of the interview women. 

RED FLAG RED FLAG

I then listed the stuff I had done and made it sound big and important and w*nky because interview. 

"Oh it sounds like this job might be a step backwards for you," apologised the other interview woman. 

I had to explain to her that I'm a contractor. 

"Oh yes, I suppose there is no real career path for contractors," she laughed.

Oh well, at least I had them laughing. 

But it was VERY weird. To be fair, the job does sound like utter sh*te but then again MONEY. 

So I'm not sure if I talked myself out of that job by virtue of they might think it's cruel to hire me. We shall see. 

After the interview I went to Robbiez for a bacon sandwich with a nice pot of tea and to see Briar. She was in excellent spirits and definitely seems to be benefitting from not being a Business Analyst anymore.

Having said that she is already stressing about getting her NEXT job, after she finishes her thesis. I consoled her as best I could by talking about Luke's pen1s coffee.

"It looks like a SCARY WOLF!" she claimed. 

Seriously. Have a look in the extras. I got "friendly dog".

S.