Should've Day

I had a previous boss (also 70 today, like D) who joked he'd give me a sign saying 'should've' when I left. Today I really needed such a sign. I was definitely mired in 'should'ves. 

The day started early,before 2 am. I couldn't get back to sleep and tossed and turned revisiting my decisions on this trip. Hindsight is a great thing but there I was, stuck. I think a quandary about 'to do or not to do' didn't help. 

After breakfast I lay at the pool in the sun, waiting for the rain and doing some hard negotiation with P about the price for Saturday. The app said 10, it was actually 11.30. it was a belter of a tropical storm, complete with thunder. Sat outside my room and started another Nicci French and ruminated. 

The rain did stop in time for me to get dinner money (it was a machine, not a card problem) 
and have lunch at the social enterprise that provides wheelchairs for children. The staff are hearing impaired. The chickpea and sweet potato curry with flatbread, rice and ginger tea was lovely 

Came back by the beach which was busy, a cruise ship in. Sat around not reading and feeling very discombobulated. As I headed back the rain started. It didn't last this time but I arranged a massage and then worried about missing a sunset. I just couldn't settle , especially as I still had that time bound action to take, it r otherwise. 

The tropical rain returned at 5.15 so a lovely massage it was, though not sure how a Balinese one differed frm a Malaysian one. After the sky had cleared slightly and I went down to the beach to see if I could see the planets but it was too cloudy. Dinner at Warung Apple. I was remembered  as was my drink. I had pork rendang tonight. It ca me E with veg but I still think my rendangs are better.

I had a seat outside the room, reading and pressing send before I was just too tired. I spent today marking time and wishing I could've been somewhere is. Should've.