Me and Mark E Smith

Tonight I went down to Manchester for a tweet up. There were some people there whom I'd met before and also some that I hadn't but who, as is common to my general experience of tweet ups, turned out to be absolutely charming and lovely.

We visited two bars - 57 Thomas Street and Odd Bar - before ending up at Common where, fortunately for the time of night, we found a table big enough to accommodate all of us. And it was here, as someone was coming back to our table from the loo, that they mentioned that Mark E Smith was in the bar.

Now, I am bugger for shaking hands with well-known people. The first recorded grown-up instance of this was when I was 19 and visiting a friend at Warwick university. Chris Serle was there speaking to a conference and when I saw him in the bar, I felt immediately compelled to ask if I could shake his hand.

It's happened time and again over the years, sometimes when I'm sober - Prof Brian Cox, Oxenholme Station, last year - and sometimes when I'm not - Daniel Miller and Jonathan Ross, a Kraftwerk gig at Tate Modern, this year. But I'd like to think I'm not intrusive or irritating: I just collect my handshake and leave, having said thank you.

But Mark E Smith. Hm.

If you are familiar with his name and, indeed, his band, The Fall, then you will appreciate why I was slightly apprehensive. Yet, I was immediately resigned to the fact that I would not be able to resist the opportunity. So I got up, straightened my shirt, put my chin up and walked over to his table. I said good evening and apologised for interrupting and asked if I might shake his hand and...

... he was incredibly gracious about it: gave me the handshake and a wry smile, and I thanked him and returned to the tweet up table.

But that wasn't the end of it because I began to think how amazing it would be to have Mark E Smith on my radio show. (I know, I know, but I'd been drinking.) So, I took out my notebook and pen and carefully wrote him a note, thinking I would just deliver it on my way to the bar. However, when I got back to his table - well, I can't remember exactly what happened but I ended up sitting with him and chatting for half an hour.

Whilst this is a worrying development in the whole handshaking business, I'd like to think it was a one-off, what with it being Mark E Smith and everything.

And no, I don't think he'll be coming on the show: he was very disappointed that I don't have a turntable :-/