Exchanging Wings

They exchanged feathers instead of rings. "We're both a little hard of hearing," Tommee explains. "When I said to her, 'Shall we exchange rings?' she answered, 'Oh, I think it would be wonderful to exchange wings!' And so Cat created symbolic wings with feathers and quartz crystals to represent the raindrops we’re going to enjoy in our new home together in Portland.”

They found each other late in life, but they have been loving partners for twenty years. Now Tommee is seventy; Cat is seventy-six; and as a result of the Supreme Court’s ruling last month, they were able to marry each other today.

Their minister, the Reverend Rose Woodruff, began the ceremony, “Take a moment to realize what has taken place for us to be standing here today. It has taken a vision by many forward-thinking people to bring us to this point where two loving hearts of the same gender can now be legally wed.”

In lieu of reading vows, Tommee and Cat sang the song, “Side by Side” in harmony. "Oh we ain't got a barrel of money; Maybe we're ragged and funny; But we travel along, singing our song, side by side."

Rev. Rosie observed their “gifts of love and trust” and urged them to “proclaim your love to the world.” She closed, “Now you officially qualify for all the protections, responsibilities, and benefits that a Federally legal wedding offers.”

For Cat, who spent some time in the U.S. Navy and then spent her work-years in health-related fields as a counselor, where it was necessary to hide the truth about herself; and for Tommee, who affirmed herself as a lesbian in the context of feminist politics of the 1970s, this day has been a long time coming. In order to keep it simple, they invited only two of us, plus the Rev. Rosie, to bear witness to their ceremony. Two of us, a minister, a grove of Douglas Firs, an embracing tree, a few songbirds, and a couple of squirrels.

Same-sex marriage is still not permitted in Oregon, so we crossed the river into Washington to celebrate their marriage. We all rode in the same car, and I noticed in the back seat of the car a stack of petitions for a referendum in Oregon to authorize marriage regardless of gender. A full set of pictures is here.