Are you OK?

A harrowing middle of the night volunteer shift. Not a word I over or mis use.
I've recently gone (back) on to the Leadership team. I'm too busy, too many calls on my time. But in the early hours of this morning it was so so so clear that this just cannot be one of the things to give up. Nationally, at 4am, there were 42 of us on duty. Some lines need to be held.

Some shifts, many shifts, are hard but uplifting, people are often surprised to know there's laughter, we're often thanked - though we're also often abused. But some shifts, a few shifts, leave you wanting to punch walls, to hug someone hard, leave you wanting to know how we let this, that, so much, happen to the vulnerable amongst us. Make you realise we're all the vulnerable amongst us. As a Leader you'll ask the duty team if they're OK. The best of them will, just once in a while, answer "No.... But I will be". Some things should last a little, some things, some people, should be remembered.

****

Home. 
Shattered. 
But.
Blue sky. 
Fallen tree. 
The empty of endeavour.
The simple reward of a passing purpose.
The restorative power of doing something else while your soul replenishes. 
6 hours of quiet companionship with Nice Neighbour. He worked in mental health support for many years, sometimes you just know.

"Are you OK?"

"No. But I will be."