Zone Troopers

Italy 1944.  A platoon of Americans gets pinned down behind enemy lines by an elite German force, who decimate their numbers.  Only The Sarge, Joey, Mittens and Dolan are left.  They try to make it back to the allied forces, but as they head back through the forest it becomes apparent that there is something else in the woods with them.  Something... NOT QUITE HUMAN...

If you are getting excited at this point I need you to calm down because this film comes from the creative genius that is Charles Band.  A man responsible for some of the poo-pongiest films ever to go straight to video at your local Blockbuster back in the 1980's*.  This being one of them.

It transpires that the elite Nazis are there because they have shot down a cheap-looking alien spacecraft and so it is up to Joey, Mittens et all to stop them from imprisoning the aliens and exploiting alien technology to win the war!  But - because this is a Charles Band film - they have to accomplish all this on a REALLY REALLY low budget.  

There are some fun parts.  Most notably when Hitler makes a guest appearance and Mittens biffs him right in the kisser.  But honestly, the film drags far too much, there's not nearly enough from the aliens and it all looks a bit like an episode of the A-Team near the end.  4/10

MITTENS:  Did I just sock Hitler?
DOLAN:     Ya sure did, Mittens.

*  "Dollman", "Ghoulies", "Troll" and "Evil Toons" amongst others.  I have seen more of these than I care to admit.