A dog's tale

Just what you need when your out for a walk, constantly stopping to check the reduced 'See you Jimmy' hats. As you can see from my mismatched collar and nylon leash (or rope to you) the master's colour and dress sense isn't what it used to be. I know he's trying to put me at my ease by pretending to have a tail but, frankly, just who does he think he's fooling?

It gets so embarrassing sometimes that I just can't bear to look...