Step we Gaily

The last dancing of the year and poorly attended, normally far more folk.  They were absent rolling easter eggs.  I  hadn’t intended going dancing, but I have to admit I found the Oriel Strathspey mesmeric and pleasing.  The kind of dance that the Stirling Albion defence need to watch.  Kirkwall was calm and bustling at one and the same time.  Sorry about the delay in the previous mentioned horoscopes, obviously delayed by unforeseen circumstances.

Aries: Don't forget to renew your People's Friend subscription.

Taurus:  You will receive a much delayed letter from Michael Bentine.

Gemini:  We are all on the same journey however the twins are on separate journeys.   Some may try and join your journey at the wrong place.  You are on the journey as you read this.  It is imperative not to obstruct the view of the driver's rear mirror.

Cancer: Try to see both sides.  A mirror on a stick will prove helpful

Leo:  Rejoice, for very good news will arrive next Tuesday at 13.08hrs.  Ignore that snooty bitch at No 18.

Virgo:  Strum or pluck, remember the zither takes a lot of practice, but it's good to caper.

Libra:  If you are not careful you will meet that boring old sod with the black dog that talks about nothing else but billiards.  Try cutting through Jamieson's Close

Scorpio: Try under the bed.

Saggitarius:  Run it under a cold tap.

Capricorn:  Try and be more gymnastic, after all you will soon be visiting the Carluke Pet Shop.

Aquarius:  Sliding into sleep you will hear the murmuring elastic alarm call of a disturbed snipe.  Snipe don't know they are snipe but they know when they are disturbed.

Pisces:  Try not to worry about Latex.  You know what happened last time.