All Aboard.

I woke in the dark.  Half awake I groveled aboot looking for a simile, even a synonym.  The Current Mrs Creel practiced her piano and left for her lesson in Kirkwall.  Then the day really started to unravel; I found a knife in the fork container.  To have called CMC for advice would have been palpably mad.  Instead I borrowed Bernard’s old lumberjack shirt and went and chopped some kindlers and set the stove for later.  I ventured up to the village Kirk café to post a package to Inverness and buy my Orcadian.  I chatted with Donita in the body of the Kirk, Christine in the PO queue, Rosie and Karen briefly and Olivia on the way home, walking her puppy.  Today there was strict demarcation.  Two tables of ladies and one of men.  Geordie was scunnered because he couldn’t post his cards for Canada and the price of a package to Czechia was prohibitive.  He contemplated passing round his bunnet.  Big Hector was present but as taciturn as ever.  There was no option but to stowaway on the Earl Thorfinn.  She plies between Kirkwall and the Northern Isles of Orkney.  My top tip is never to contemplate a shipboard romance on said vessel.  The galley even served unbuttered toast and the eels were off.
 
Are there any Blippers in Banbury ?