Perspective

I love running. It has its downsides - way too much sweaty kit to wash, blisters, chaffing if I forget the Vaseline, lost toenails (the ones next to my big toes regularly give up! One fell off yesterday), smaller boobs to name a few - but in my view the upsides far than make up for them - whole new clothes buying opportunities (I have a bit of a shorts obsession at the moment), fairly toned legs and bum, improved fitness, interesting views and a reason to explore (today along the river) but the biggest one of all is the time to think. I used to run with music - probably so I didn't have to think - but for the last few years I haven't and find running so therapeutic. Even when I run with friends or the fella there's always time for contemplation.

And tonight's run really helped me put things in perspective. Three years ago I was in a very different place:
I was in serious pain as my back had given up on me - I could barely walk, sleeping was a problem and physio didn't seem to be helping. At one stage my rehab exercises were standing up straight and lying down flat which I struggled to do. I wasn't sure I'd ever be pain free let alone be able to run again.
I was heavier than I wanted to be and didn't feel good about my body
And finally I was incredibly unhappy in my marriage but hadn't admitted it to my family, friends or husband as I was scared that people would think I was a failure.

Fast forward to today and the difference couldn't be bigger - I'm about 10kg lighter and with better legs (ok and ass) than I've had in years, I was able to end my marriage with amazing support (and no judgement - well not to my face!) from my family and friends and not only did I get pain free (hard work, determination and an amazing physio) but I can run again and even did the London marathon for the 3rd time in April smashing my previous pb by over 30mins. So ok my relationship isn't moving forward as quickly as I would like, but I'm with someone I adore, who I want to build a life with (so far we're doing a pretty good job) and who makes me happy.

So instead of getting melancholy I'm going to try and count my blessings. I'm a big believer in giving things time to improve and trying not to moan in that time - so I'm going to try that up until Christmas. And if things haven't significantly changed by then I'll do something about it.o